written by Matt Kahn
True happiness is not actually a positive emotional state. It is an internal reclaiming of power that allows each outcome to be experienced in the most pure and unaltered way. In order to be happy, you must reclaim your power from the people, places, and things that are used to define your existence. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be pleased or displeased by other people’s behavior. Instead, you no longer rely on the actions of your outside environment to determine your status in life. To rely on others for your primary sense of validation and fulfillment is a play of codependency. In spiritual terms, it is referred to as attachment. When codependency or attachment runs your reality, the changes of others can shake the core of your emotional foundation.
While it is natural to grieve the loss of loved ones or feel heartbroken when relationships end, the attachment of codependency is more so a reliance on needing others to act or be a certain way, in order for you to feel whole. Ultimately, every form of codependency or attachment can only lead to blame and disappointment. That is, until your power is reclaimed. Once this occurs, your happiness is determined by the quality of your choices instead of on the reliance of other people’s behavior.
True happiness is freedom from relying on anything to be any particular way, which allows everything to be exactly how it is meant to be. True happiness doesn’t even require you to accept however things seem, since the very thing you are guided to accept is however you feel in response to the situations in view. Even in the presence of circumstances that you are unable to accept or “be okay with”, what are the most inspired courageous choices that you can make to bring into the moment the type of person you’d like spend more time around?
How much more often do you need to love yourself in order for your feelings to not be determined by others? The answer to this question occurs through a willingness to encourage, support, admire, and compliment yourself on a daily basis, whether it shifts how you feel, provides the high you constantly desire, or embraces the one who wishes that life was anything other than the way it seems to be.
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